


Easy Vertebrae Access all Around!

by Etnoe



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Jossed, Meteorstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-08
Updated: 2011-06-08
Packaged: 2017-10-20 06:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etnoe/pseuds/Etnoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John and Vriska finally meet in person - but considering who's involved, there's a whole universe of things that can go wrong before and during the meeting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easy Vertebrae Access all Around!

**Author's Note:**

> I started this about a month ago and it's been jossed and potentially un-jossed what, five times since. The key to writing Homestuck fanfiction is probably to stop caring about that kind of thing. While the 8 June 2011 update negates this scenario, death is a revolving door around here and I'm going with the idea that somehow, some way John and Vriska could meet up alive and well, but I don't go into details of the necessary revival(...s. Anything could happen.).

"Do aliens hug? Is that a thing?"

Vriska pretends to give him the cool disregard. She is pretty good at it. But she says, "I dunno, _alien_. What do you think, _do_ you hug?"

No stretchy sounds - only emphasis! So weird! How are you supposed to tell where the eights go? They're still going to have to use Trollian and Pesterchum all the time or big important chunks of communication will be lost.

John levels up to Happy Hug-Machine Champion on the spot. He's going to have to hope this comes off as not-gropy although he doesn't care if it's touchy-feely ( _Dave_ , so shut up), because Vriska! Hi! "Of course we do!"

"Humans seriously do this all the time? It's not only a cinematic metaphor? I don't know how you've survived as a species." She uses an awkward move of patting around the back of his hips and then moving up to the shoulder blades, using only fingertips, and you could almost wonder if she knows how to hug. It's probably nerves. "Exposing vertebrae as a casual greeting when you're not even matesprits! It's soooooooo hard to believe."

John laughs pretty hard as he lets go. "Was that eight o's?"

"Exactly eight!" She hops back a step (her wings giving a flutter!) to look him over, and with the smile and bright eyes it's like she's about to say 'Good dog. Best friend!' and he hasn't even shown her any cool tricks yet. Aside from hurling himself across the no-space between two universes, but everybody was doing that lately. Seeing the windy thing onscreen is not as good as a live show or _going flying_ on it, oh yeah. She'll really be able to appreciate it with the wings!

At least she's stopped looking like she's about to axe-murder everybody if her composure drops below the critical tipping point that all devices of brutal large-scale indiscriminate destruction have in common.

There's no handy digital countdown display in this case, and not even a big red button that you knew not to push. There is just something not-exactly-good about the way everyone is arranged: Vriska standing stiff and alone, the others in a nearly closed circle around her.

John's first sight of the Veil had come from the vantage point of lying flat on his back where the G@TE had reconstructed him. He'd just stared at the gray room and the semi-circle of gray, upside-down people (trolls! That didn't mean they weren't people, of course, um, obviously.). It had been a little bit hard to be used to being solid, to feel more than the wind and light of the crossing, and to _be in the Veil_. Finally. It had been a motionless moment, everybody caught up in staring, and then the mouth of the troll standing in the middle of the circle had moved, and moved again.

The third time she spoke the roaring in John's ears had cleared enough that he realised she was saying his name, and he'd turned over, got up, stumbled to her. Vriska sounds almost kind of like he'd thought she would! She sounds like she doesn't want to be scared.

"Sup," says Dave. It breaks the tension, and a kind of silence made up of only John and Vriska talking. "Not to give anybody any ideas, but I was pretty sure I'd be up to my eyeballs in tongue on entry. Also expected less in the way of chainsaws, swords, sickles, you know."

"I could get out a rifle, if that's another way to say hello," Jade says. "I've got some great ones!"

John's eyes go to Vriska's hands. "Um. Where are your dice?" he says, which is probably a stupid thing to mention so he keeps it soft.

"Behind you - in a really neat pile against the wall. I was sucking up _so_ hard before you got here." She looks at someone in the circle, quickly, maybe the one with the chainsaw.

Something's wrong. That's how things are pretty much all the time lately, and it would be better if everyone realised that and decided to get right to making something better.

John breathes in deep, trying to stop feeling off-centre. He's actually, finally in the Veil, and all these people he's been talking to are right here. Dave's accent makes him want to start singing the Texas Ranger theme song and that could make Dave cry, which would be so great. He has a Priority Hug lined up for his brand-new sister/friend-he's-known-for-years. Vriska's got wings and is not much like a spider after all; she's got long hair and bright yellow eyes and two horns and a god-tier outfit. She's standing really close and he didn't notice until now. That's not what's important, even if it feels like it.

"Um. So you're not going to kill anyone. That's really good," John says, still quiet and in a considerate, friendly, friendleaderly way. "Or hurt them, right?"

"Does it look like I'm the one planning on it? I ditched my weaponkind on _purpose_."

"I know you don't want to hurt anybody, but you also don't have to. Promise." He hopes she doesn't want to. It had sounded like she didn't when she'd confessed all those things she'd done, but it had also sounded like she could only barely be real.

Typing what was basically _I'm pretty okay with mass murder if it's you_ was a weird experience. You stopped walking and thinking, except that you were thinking at top blurry speed about other chat logs and other confessions and falling asleep on a bed of stone with a demon nearby, and you took turns staring at the words on the screen and at your fingers hovering over the keyboard. Sometimes you had to put in (three full stops, what does Rose call them) ellipses like that really meant anything useful, or you had to say what was in your head that second before the other person gave up and signed off, and you couldn't do that to them.

It's easier in person. He doesn't have to talk. He can stay as close as possible and watch her back if necessary, see her looking strung tight and nervous and _grin_ at him, brush his hand against hers and smile back. Hi, Vriska.

"You don't have to promise," she says, solemn and grateful. "Just tell them why I don't have to fight, John..."

"We should all work together," John says. "Right, everybody? We've made it this far, and we've still got a lot to do! So ... I think it's going to be awesome working with everybody!" He looks around the circle, and at his human friends who have taken up position close behind him, but mostly he takes in the hand pressed against his and pretending to be casual.

He drops his voice to talk to Vriska again. "What did you do?"

"Tell you later."

John nods.

Vriska lifts an even bigger grin over his head, raising her chin as she looked all round the circle. "There! It's done. Only for now - I know, I know, nobody has to rub it in. All I asked for was this one chance, no luck involved."

"Yes, it is done. I think it's something we should all consider that the purpose of justice is ultimately the stability and continuation of society." Whoo, that's a lot of words, just like that. A girl in a red god-tier outfit is speaking, rolling up a whip and smiling kind of regretfully. "Whatever would be a truly fair punishment in this case, and it would be _so_ fair, if our much-diminished society is going to get anywhere then we'll need her power. Don't let it go to your head, please, Vriska."

Is Vriska looking guilty? Is she nervous? Queasy? Did she leave the oven on? Big chunks of communication really will go lost, even in person.

There's no time to think about it. Vriska moves on to the next thing, whispering to him. "Remember what I said, right before you reached the G@TE?"

"Vriska, I don't know..."

"Shut up, you have to. Over there, with the red glasses."

Moving away from her feels like a bad idea for a sharp second, but that's silly. They're all a team. That was the point of coming to the Veil. John walks to Terezi Pyrope - skinny and tiny and her mouth making a weird, tight curl - is she really upset or is this more like almost-tears of happiness? - and even though she's blind, the way her posture changes makes it obvious she knows he's coming. Well duh, Egbert, you doofus, she's not deaf. And also duh, there's the smellovision (how does that even work?).

"Hi, Terezi. So you killed me that one time," he says. "Um, that one alternate timeline. Vriska said it would be polite to make you bow and then not cut your head off, but I think it's okay to say that I accept your apology! You did help me after that to make up for everything, and you're Dave's buddy now and we all know he has great taste in friends."

Her mouth twists some more. "Some of us need practice with that, huh, John? It's all right. Let's do this properly." She has an actual cane-sword with a fancy head, like a classy old school cartoon villain, _awesome_ \- and she sheathes the blade and puts the cane away in her belt, which is also awesome. The elegant bow makes her hair fall to expose the back of her narrow neck. "Thank you for accepting my apology."

The bow goes on long enough to make sure everyone involved is really uncomfortable. John thinks about chopping her neck with the side of his hand and saying 'Psyche!' It's troll culture, how would that not be considered a good prank?

"Then that's it," someone who hasn't spoken before says, and captchalogue cards flash to take his weapon away before John sees what they are. His voice is really tired. "All the formalities out of the way. The human vote is in, we trust Vriska fucking Serket, and now we can all go on together to fuck up in new and exciting ways."

"Oohhh," says Jade, "oh noooo." She's grinning. "Something about that sounds familiar!"

John's thinking the same thing. Is that—?

"Yes," Vriska says suddenly. "He's right. There's a lot of stuff that still needs doing." There's something weird about her voice, and as John turns to look at her Terezi finally straightens, also facing Vriska. If Vriska notices she doesn't let it show. She takes a breath and says, wavering but loudly, "Reunite with loving Vriska and Beep-beep-meow!"

Angels sing,

dawn breaks,

Christmas comes,

all possible instances of cake mix vanish from the Veil,

and John looks at Vriska with wide eyes. "I forgot about that."

"That would disappoint him _so much_ , John!"

John spins around to the boy who'd spoken. "Karkat! _Beep-beep-meow_!"

"What the-" Karkat's horns really are nubby! And instead of tired, which is a weird look for him, his expression is starting to make him look like he really is the crankiest asshole alive! "What the insufferable fuck, was that seriously an attempt at PRONOUNCING MY NAME NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING **_NO_** —"

Vriska runs with John, improvises backing vocals to 'How Do I Live', and grabs Karkat right after he does.

"Exposed vertebrae all around. Isn't it great!" she says, one arm tight around the back of John's neck and the other around Karkat. She does know how to hug after all! "And now we'll all get along fine!"

"Holy shit," Dave says, "they're multiplying. Nobody else touch Egbert or the infection will make you humour him too."

"Stop taking Karkat hostage, Vriska, it's such an obvious move," Terezi says with a sigh. "And I know you heard John say my name, coolkid."

Then things get noisy - everybody's talking to everybody. John hears "posse" "frogs" "MFFMFMMMKMFKFKFKFKFK" "dream bubble" "mage", and they are all, probably, going to get along.

"I don't think Karkat can breathe," John says, "and there are still so many ways he can say 'fuck'!"

They spin towards Jade and 'Kanaya, dummy, I _must_ have told you about Fussyfangs!' and let Karkat go. It would have been cool to talk to a vampire but Vriska has a grip on his wrist - they will absolutely have to arm-wrestle at some point - and is dragging him to the pile of dice. "Let me show you what I can do with these!"

"Oh yeah! I have to show you the windy thing!"

They get kicked out of the computer room.

"First time of many," Vriska promises. John laughs, raising a fist, and they bunp on it.


End file.
